Thank you to Ralph and Janice for the opportunity to speak as a Donor Mum.  I feel that it is an honour to speak about Stefan, who would have celebrated his 21^st birthday on Good Friday, 2001.  Weeks before his birthday, I basted together a quilt using a sheet from Stef's bed for a border and the back.

The ** November 1996 was the day of the tragic accident.  Stefan had gone to Palmerston North to trial for the Central District Red Team.  Sadly, he didn't live to know "he made the team".

At the time of his death he was 16 years old.  He was the third to die in a car accident within a year, from his College.  He was a 6^th Form student.  

Stef excelled in all sports - he represented Horowhenua in Cricket, Soccer and Tennis.  His primary schools and College saw him involved in Tennis, Soccer, Basketball, Volleyball, Swimming, Cricket, Gymnastics and Athletics.  He received many certificates.  What ever sport he tried, he excelled in.

His Dad left us when he was 10 years old.  We became a great team.  I went on school camp, to soccer and cricket tournaments and travelled for 14 weeks to Palmerston North for tennis coaching.  He became 4^th in his grade for Manawatu.

Cricket became his number 1 choice.  His Dad coached his first XI team and being an umpire was able to keep the team up to date with all aspects of the game.  There was a fantastic team spirit.  They won many games.

Peter died 6 months prior to Stef's accident.  Two weeks before the tragedy Stef made 152 n.o. and a partnership of over 300 with his mate Pods.  He told me the thrill it was to reach 100 and raise his bat high.  "I did it for Dad" he told me proudly.

He was one lovable, caring teenager.  His friends still contact me.  Daniel in the Navy sends postcards, Moana who was a Nanny in the United States for a year wrote to me on Stef's 21^st and put tickets of the "Pearl Jam" concert she attended on his grave, "Pearl Jam" was his favourite group.  So many have written poems, put flowers at the cemetery.  Three friends played cricket during the U.K. season.  Knowing the wonderful friends he had, has helped me through the hard days.

Stefan being a Manchester United soccer fan I posted a photo of Stefan taken when he had got up at 2 or 3 in the morning to watch an F.A. Cup match.  Complete with Beanie hat and scarf in Manchester United colours, this photo hangs at Old Trafford.  His English Aunty phoned me to say she had seen it.  Also Kingsgrove Sport Centre in Sydney donated a fantastic trophy which I presented to Horowhenua College for 'overall excellence in Cricket'.

I have never regretted my decision to donate organs.
- his Dad had died, so the decision was mine;
- in the hospital another Mum thought I made the decision too soon;
- Stefan was a blood donor;
- my daughter Susan, born 34 years ago, may have lived with the advancement now of medical procedures.

34 years ago we were told little of Susan's condition, we could only visit her during visiting hours, and we could not sit with her in her last hours, which is hard to live with.  In Stefan's case the I.C.U. staff kept me informed at all times.  Having from Sunday early evening until Monday 11pm (the Australian team were hampered by weather, as the liver transplant was done in Australia) so many friends from College, and family could say their goodbyes.  We had a Christening Service holding hands. forming a circle around Stefan.

Many here today have lost loved ones and know the pain suffered.  Meeting Sharyn [friend] in the supermarket, she held me and said "I don't know what to say, I couldn't live without my Jared if he was taken."  Months later Jared died tragically in a car accident and Sharyn's daughter phoned me at 5am asking me to go to her Mum.  An inner strength has helped us through.  We have a group which meets every 6-8 weeks.  2 children died from cancer, 2 from car accidents, 1 from suicide.

My parents thoughts are with us today.  2 1/2 years ago Mum was in Intensive Care for 17 days.  Although chronically ill, we nurse her at home.  "Tell them how proud we are of our beloved Stefan."  On his birthday we wondered what would he be doing now?  My bet was he'd be in the Navy, but would have had a few seasons with his mates playing cricket in the U.K.

On the **.11.96 Stefan's passing gave others the chance of a new and better life.  I have photos and memories of a son who in his 16 years lived life to the fullest.  He had so many wonderful friends (900 at his funeral).  He had a smile I'll never forget - he was "the bestest".

Stefan Foster

We entered the room where you lay
lifeless yet so warm,
Tubes invading your airways
you looked so peaceful as we mourned,

We all have different journeys
different paths along the way,
We were all meant to learn some things
but never meant to stay,

I guess God just needed one more batsman
for heaven's greatest test,
He knew all about our Stefan
and settled for nothing but the best,

So you see, there's no need to cry
because he's happy up above,
Playing that certain game
we all know he loved,

Now heaven has the greatest XI
Gee, lucky for some,
The best umpire, the best batsman
the combination of Father and Son.

By Haley Taru, college friend.

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